#i hope youre good with children cause this baby likes to drink and play with knives

[glutenfreehimbo]

Reblog and poorly describe your ttrpg characters in the tags

[spgothkidsheadcanons]

Hiii I hope that you're doing good and drank enough water today <33

Can I request headcanons for Michael, Henrietta and Pete with a s/o who is a nanny and often somehow ends up with two or three babies at their house?

If not it's fine of course!

Have a great day <33

Ah, yes. You most absolutely can request that

I hope this is what you were looking for! I’ve gotten a little rusty, so please feel free to let me know if I’m way off course here 😅

Warnings: There are none

~~~~

Henrietta:

- Oof

- Oofies

- Henrietta does not like kids, so when she showed up to your house and watched you wrangle 3 toddlers by yourself, she had half a mind to just turn around and come back later

- Alas, as soon as you took note of her standing there, you greeting her so sweetly, she just couldn’t leave you there to deal with all of that by yourself

- So despite Henrietta’s distaste for kids, she’d lend a hand, doing the absolute bare minimum with the most dramatic scowl on her face

- You couldn’t help but laugh and kiss her cheek every so often, teasing her about the future of your relationship and the change of mind she might have

- Until one of the kids tipped their full cup of juice onto her dress…

- Yeah, maybe not

- Henrietta does know what she’s doing, though, and won’t actively let the kids cause harm to themselves or each other by distracting them with some music

- If she ever finds the picture you’ve taken of her with the kids sitting quietly beside her while listening to the songs, she’d have your head on a stake in her front yard

- And after they’ve all been sent home, you’d have to turn right around and babysit your poor girlfriend’s psyche because it has been RUINED by the kids

- Would you ever get to relax? 🙄

Pete:

- Welp

- When you needed help, Pete didn’t think twice about rushing over without even asking what it is you’d need help with

- Upon seeing the set of kids all tugging at your shirt and crying for your attention, he’d act without thinking, immediately drawing their hands away

- Of course, they’d just turn their attention to Pete, but it gave you the few minutes of peace you needed in order to make them some snacks and refill their drinks

- While you werenin the kitchen, your boyfriend had no problem occupying the children with some toys that had been brought for them to play with

- Bringing in the snacks, you’d give Pete a peck on the cheek as a thank you

- And when the children were all settled, snacking away happily, Pete would tease you for running a mini zoo as a part time job

- Nap time was so easy for you

- For Pete, not so much, because as soon as you both sat on the couch, he was flooded by toddlers using him as a bed

- The experience would definitely make him think of you as a parent, and he didn’t seem so worried about your future kids anymore

- When the kids got picked up, that’s when it became nap time for you and Pete

- After the day you two have had, Pete would like to revel in the childlessness for a little bit longer, soaking up the quiet

Michael:

- Oh, you are just in for a treat

- Michael actually really likes kids, so much so that he comes ready with games and activities for the tots

- Seeing as you had to babysit for your neighbor, you accepted his invite to help out readily, glad to have someone on your side

- You might as well go on ahead and sit down because he’s got it

- Even when you think he’s going to tip over because all the kids wanted to climb him like a tree, he’s got it

- Lunch time is super easy because Michael’s probably ordered a pizza for the kids, so the only thing you need to worry about is feeding them

- If he has his guitar, yes, he is playing it for the kids (you had no idea that he knew to play Baa Baa Black Sheep, but it was kinda cute)

- Nap time for the kiddos is right around the corner, and seeing them curled around your boyfriend on the floor made your heart swell

- While they napped, you and Michael would relax and watch over them, making sure nothing happened

- This is when he’d lament that he couldn’t wait to have kids with you, seeing just how great you were with babysitting

- When the kids left, you’d tidy up the small messes they’ve made that day

- And Michael would help willingly, hoping that you knew he was serious about your earlier conversation

[lords-of-mayhem]

Eurovarg Playlist

Lies // Marina and the Diamonds

You're never gonna love me, so what's the use? What's the point in playing a game you're gonna lose? What's the point in saying you love me like a friend? What's the point in saying it's never gonna end?

You're too proud to say that you made a mistake, you're a coward 'til the end. I don't wanna admit that we're not gonna fit. No, I'm not the type that you like. Why don't we just pretend?

You only ever touch me in the dark. Only if we're drinking, can you see my spark? And only in the evening, could you give yourself to me? 'Cause the night is your woman and she'll set you free.

Lies, don't wanna know. I can't let you go, I just want it to be perfect. To believe it's all been worth the fight. Lies, don't wanna know, don't wanna know.

Dinner And Diatribes // Hozier

Honey, this club here is stuck up, dinner and diatribes. I knew it from the first look of, the look of mischief in your eyes. Your friends are a fate that befell me, head is a talking type.

I'd suffer Hell if you'd tell me what you'd do to me tonight. Let there be hotels complaints and grievances raised, let there be damage ensued and tabloid news.

The Main Character // Will Wood

I'm that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look. Control the narrative reliably, baby, it's all about me. So now, I'm holding myself hostage. Stockholm lust just looks like justice.

So, God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being. I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene.

I'm the gap between tragedy and comedy. Don't come at me, I'm the main character and you have to like me.

Villains are everywhere, that's how I know that I'm the hero. So tie me to the train tracks, laugh, and snidely twist your mustache.

We all do what we need to to get through, but I ain't done a fucking thing to you. So, God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being.

I mean, imagine if antagonists lacked any evil scheme. I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy. Don't come at me, I'm the main character and you have to like me.

You // Marina and the Diamonds

You don't know me like you think you do. You don't own me, but I can't cut you loose. Everybody thinks that you're a star, but underneath, I see just what you are.

We both know that we can never change, walking slowly through the smoke and flames. Yeah, you break me down. Yeah, you shut me out. But it's all about you.

I'm the main character, and you have to like me

I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy

I know what you're about, but I need you now 'cause it's all about you. You don't love me like you think you do, you don't know that I'm just as bad as you.

Everybody thinks that I'm the heart of every party, but it's just the start. Deep down, I know that we're just the same, burning slowly through the dust and flames.

No Children // The Mountain Goats

I hope that our few remaining friends give up on trying to save us. I hope we come up with a fail-safe plot to piss off the dumb few that forgave us. I hope it's already too late.

And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here someday burns down, and I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away and I never come back to this town again in my life.

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow, I hope it bleeds all day long.

I hope it stays dark forever, I hope the worst isn't over. I hope I never get sober. And I hope when you think of me years down the line, you can't find one good thing to say.

And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out, you'd stay the hell out of my way. I am drowning, there is no sign of land. You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die, I hope we both die.

Ready To Let Go // Cage The Elephant

Sun went down, sun went down over Pompeii. On both sides, the vow was broken. Oh my my, I'm the one trying to hide this damage done.

One day, all our secrets will be spoken. As we slow dance, I became your statue, frozen. Times I wonder, are we just a puff of smoke? Underneath this bed of ashes, still withholding everything like we were never close.

Sun went down, sun went down over Pompeii. On holy ground, our vows were broken. We met up, we broke bread. I was blue, your dress was red. Ain't it strange? We both knew this day was coming.

Don't you worry, baby, no sense trying to change it. Imma strike these matches, never had control. I'm ready to let go, no, was I fooling myself?

Imma spread these ashes, never had control. I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready to let go.

I/Me/Myself // Will Wood

I've been feeling lightheaded since I lost enough weight to fit back in my skin. Take my tea with formaldehyde for my feminine side since the day that I died.

While I whittle my bones until I'm brittle, am I pretty now? For some reason, I find myself lost in what you think of me and too confused to choose who I should be.

And now you've got me thinking: I wish I could be a girl and that way, you'd wish I could be your girlfriend.

I get dressed up in shadows one leg at a time, we're so alike. But if the shoe fits then I won't try it on and you'll be walking out early, but the show must go on.

No, I know that I'm wrong, but I love how you're on my side when I cross that line. It's been a point of contention between myself and this body that they stuck me in.

Say my name like a slur, but I've been called worse. And I've heard it all before, no, this isn't a first. Let me be the void you fill with.

Am I pretty enough to love back? No, not yet. Am I pretty enough, am I pretty enough to fucking die?

Well, I would give you my whole world. All identities are equally invalid, don't you think that there's a chance that you could live without it?

Spiderhead // Cage The Elephant

I am the one you left for dead and as you stand over my grave, you'll pause your lips upon my face.

Either I'm in heaven or I'm in hell. Am I losing my mind, yeah? Cause I can't tell. I've been waiting for answers for way too long, seems I'm always waiting around.

I think your mother wants me dead. Say you wanted to, I am a schizophrenic man. I wouldn't change you if I could.

Spiders in my head, spiders in my mind. You may take my eyes, but baby, I'm not blind. It all works out all right, you know I'm gonna be all right.

[shade-e-e-es]

hey! a while ago you said one of your bdubs headcannons was that he was raised by glares but is human.

its such an intresting thought honestly. does that mean he does glare stuff just bc he saw it happen as he grew up (like nesting (hc ig that they do) or collect moss?

Ok so real quick: I need you to imaging something for me.

You and your Pod (group of glares) are hanging around, as you do, when suddenly you see a player child. Literally a baby. Glares are passive and they actively try and help them by letting the know they’re in danger. And you and your Pod are kind beings. You take the player in.

In my mind, the little bundles of moss are actually like. Babies. Or children. Glares grow up to be bigger and mildly human like, but not much. They have arms and legs but it’s all swamped by their shrouds. They eat similar food as humans but drink water different.

Bdubs manages to survive. He thrives even. He grows taller than his brothers and sisters and he grows no tail and he is different but he is loved. He still fears the dark like the Glare. He still knows how to warn of it.

He is different than humans in that he will hardly ever take off his shroud. A lot of his time is spent on maintaining it. Weaving moss and vine and bits of wool, feathers, sheddings- those last few things are from the other hermits. He has moss woven from his Pod, the hermits are just a different family. (All familial weavings are on the inside of the shroud, as to protect them from harm, like sun and water damage.) He weaves clippings from his floras and weaves them to the outside. Every Glare can read a shroud like a story, Bdubs’s is full of adventure and wonder and terrors beyond that any Glare should ever go through.

He does make nests! Technically. His bedrooms are always full of plant life and windows and light- beds are far more comfortable than just plain moss most nights! Sometimes he’ll sleep in the comforting hold of it.

He has a way with animals as well, having been raised in a society where he doesn’t have to raise them for meat and the like and just got to play with them a lot of animals just love him. Especially horses. Which rules because Bdubs LOVES. Horses.

The most Glaringly Obvious is the fact that he will scowl and glare and hiss at basically every overly dark space. Starting a world with him and not knowing that part of his life means you’re being constantly hissed at by your friend. He knows he doesn’t have to do it, but he likes to warn his friends anyways <3

Finally exhales cause I did that all in one breath at one point I drew like Gem I think asking Impulse if Bdubs was mad (like. Supposed to be start of season 8) and impulse replied”Oh it’s ok!! He’s just scared of the dark!!”

I hope you enjoyed my long winded ramble. Thank you and good night (gotta shreep!)

[extremelyblackandwhite]

Hii i havr is request for

Rockstar!Sebastian

Could you do fluffy headcanons about reader and seb reacting to their children's first boyfriend or girlfriend their first kiss or something like that

Your choice if you wanna do just Jess or just Marion or both :)

I loved this series so so much

author's note: i apologise if i am severely late for this. oops.

Y/N had been cooking dinner when the front door opened and closed with a bang followed by silence. She looked at the car who was happily snoring on the corner of the kitchen as if nothing had happened. Soon enough, Sebastian was walking into the kitchen with a very concerned look on his face. When this happened, there were usually two ways to deal with it - either complete silent and let him burst out with whatever has happened or move to a regular conversation hoping to put him at ease of whatever had happened.

      - So, did you get the kids? Did you drop Mason at hockey?

      - Yes, Mason is at hockey. - he went to the fridge and got himself a beer. - That weird kid's mum is bring him home after practice.

      - You really should try to learn your kid's friend's name. - she handed him a bottle cap opener. - Did you pick u ...

      - Y/N, you don't even know what I caught Marion doing. - he interrupted, taking a large gulp of the beer before starting to take laps around the kitchen like a crazed maniac.

Y/N furrowed her brows. Marion didn't cause much harm, she was a good kid. It was usually Mason who tended to be the trouble stirrer.

      - Well? - she crossed her arms. - Are you gonna tell me or are we playing the guessing game?

      - It was awful. Marion! My good kid. Jesse's at college and Mason at this point has taken too much from my personality to give me any hope but Marion is my good kid.

      - Jesus, Seb, what happened? - she cleaned her hands, walking up to him. - Was she drinking, smoking?

      - Worse. She was a kissing some greasy dude.

Her nerves settled as she bottled in laughter. It really hadn't occurred to her that this would happen. Jesse and Mason were boys so Sebastian wasn't as protective of them as he was of Marion. The last time Jesse had brought a girl home, Y/N swore she saw him high fiving Jesse. She just forgot that one day it would be Marion's turn to start dating. That day had now arrived.

      - Well, you were pretty greasy when we started dating. - she shrugged but Sebastian only looked more mortified.

      - Marion better NOT be dating anyone that resembles me at any point before our marriage.

      - Seb, calm down. She's 16, she's bound to start dating.

      - No, no. No. See, I'm gonna fix this.

      - You're gonna fix this? - she crossed her arms, wondering what this meant.

      - She's going to an all girl school, a catholic school, a boarding school. Whatever keeps her away from kissing and boys.

      - Well ... you can always kiss at an all girl school. - she joked, enjoying how flared up Sebastian was at the idea of his daughter finally getting into dating.

      - She's getting home schooled then! We can afford tutors.

      - You weren't this fired up when Jess brought a girl home.

      - Jess is an adult. He's at college.

      - Jess still brings his laundry for us to do. - she laughed before caressing his shoulder. - She's growing up, Seb. You're gonna have to get used to it.

      - We need another one.

      - Absolutely not.

      - But babe, hear me out, if we have another baby, this time we can home school the baby and avoid these issues.

      - No. Besides, where is Marion? Did you bring her?

      - Yes, she's in her room.

      - Probably talking to boys. - she joked but Seb only looked up. - Seb, I'm just kidding.

      - Better safe than sorry!

[starrysimps]

Let The Wind Guide Us [Venti x (f)Pregnant Reader

A/N: A little bit of angst, not too much. I loved this plot too much to not write this. Let me know what you think and if I should do more next. Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it. Also C/n stands for child’s name. Also this isn’t proofread yet I’ll do it later today or tomorrow.

Word Count: 1.09k

Pairing: Venti x Fem!PregnantReader

Warnings: Drinking I guess

  “Venti, we’ve talked about this already. You can’t keep coming home at two in the morning because you want to drink all night.” You said to a drunk Venti. “Ehe~” Was the only response you received. Getting even more frustrated with Venti, you snapped. “You know what, I’m done with this! I’m done with you Venti!” You yelled, and left your shared apartment.

1st POV 

     I knocked on Rosaria’s door, hoping she would answer. Luckily she opened the door. “Y/n, what are you doing here at this time?” Asked a sleepy eyed Rosaria. “Well I ended things with Venti, and I was wondering if I could stay here for a bit.” I stated bluntly. “I guess, come in and we can talk about what happened between you and Lord Barsibato.” Rosaria said, being the only one knowing that secret besides the traveler. “It’s Barbatos.” I said, laughing as I went into Rosaria’s house.

     “Do you want any wine?” Rosaria asked. “NO!” I yelled. “Sorry, that's why I left Venti. Plus it wouldn’t be good for the baby.” I said. Rosaria’s eyes widened and she almost spit out her drink. “BABY?!” She asked, still shocked from the news. “Oh yeah, that…haha…” I said nervously. “Does Venti know?” She asked. “We had a dinner date planned for tonight, I was going to tell him then. He didn’t come as usual.” I said. “Oh, so he was drinking again.” Rosaria said. “Yes! I wish for once that he would take things seriously! Especially my concerns for him!” I said, getting frustrated. “Well it’s alright Y/n. You can stay at my place for as long as you need to.” Rosaria said.

     “Thank you Rosaria.” I replied. “Although, it probably won’t be long before he finds out that you’re pregnant.” Rosaria said, stating a good point. I sighed. “I know, I plan to move to Sumeru so that he doesn’t find out. Plus I have a good friend who lives there.” I said.

*Two weeks pass and I wave goodbye to Rosaria as I head off to Sumeru.*

[TIME SKIP-6 YEARS LATER]

     “I can’t believe this little girl is almost six!” Collei said. “I know, she’s gotten so big!” I said, smiling. “Mommy, where are we going?” C/n asked. “We’re going to the Windblume Festival in Mondstadt. Auntie Rosaria invited us to come.” I told her. “6 years later and you’re finally going back?” Collei asked. “Yes, I miss my home, plus the festival is a great way to have fun.” I said. “Well since I’m going too, we’ll have extra fun!” Collei said. “Yay Collei!” C/n said excitedly.

*Y/n, Collei, and C/n go to Rosaria’s house in Mondstadt.*

     Once we met Rosaria at her house, I let Collei take C/n out to play for a bit until we met up with them later. “C/n sure has grown a lot.” Rosaria stated. “Haha yeah.” I replied. “She looks a lot like Venti too.” She said “I know, she has his personality too.” I said as I sighed. Rosaria laughed. “Let’s go meet up with Collei and C/n before they cause any trouble together.” I said, as me and Rosaria left to find Collei and C/n.

……………

     Once we met with Collei and C/n, I took c/n to play with the small group of kids near the Barbatos statue. I sat on a small bench as I watched C/n play with the other children.

     A few minutes later C/n ran up to me and grabbed my hand. “Mommy! Mommy! Come look at this man singing! He’s so good! He likes music just like daddy!” C/n said. By the time she had finished talking, we were standing in front of him. My eyes widen as I realize who it is. It was Venti. “Y-Y/n, is that really you.” He asked. “Yes.” I replied, mentally face palming myself for answering him.

     “Who’s this?” He asks, pointing to C/n. “Oh, this is C/n.” I said. “Mhm! My birthday is tomorrow! I’m turning six!” C/n said. “That’s right, you’re so smart.” I said, as I laughed at C/n. “Six years old…?” Venti said, confused. My eyes widen as I realize what C/n just said. “But that would mean…” Venti continues as he looks at me with slightly teary eyes. 

     “Y/n… Is C/n my daughter…?” Venti asks. “Yes.” I say as I bite my lip, waiting for a response. “W-why didn’t you tell me?” He asked. “Well I was going to, but you never showed up for our date that night.” I replied. “I’m sorry Y/n. I truly am. I hope you can forgive me for my foolish decisions. I would like to be a part of C/n’s life.” Venti said. “What about your drinking problem?” I asked.

     “Oh, hello Y/n, Venti. It’s been quite some time since I’ve last seen you both. I’m surprised I haven’t seen you at the tavern in a few years Venti.” Kaeya said as he passed by. “What…?” I asked. “Yeah, after you left I stopped drinking. I realized that I made a stupid decision. I put wine before you, and I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry for everything Y/n. I really do hope that you can forgive me.” He said. “I do forgive you, but this doesn’t mean things can just go back to the way they used to be.” I said. “Yeah, we have a kid this time.” He said as he laughed. I rolled my eyes.

     A few seconds later, I called C/n over. “C/n, this is your dad.” I said. She smiled and her face lit up. “Yay! I finally got to meet daddy!” C/n said. Venti smiled. “I like the sound of that.” He said. “Mommy and Daddy should get married!” C/n said. “Woah there, slow down a little bit.” I said. “Ehe~” C/n laughed. Me and Venti both laughed with C/n.

     Rosaria and Collei watched from a distance. “Are you crying…?” Rosaria asked Collei. “It’s just so sweet.” Collei said, wiping her tears. They both smiled. “So I take it that we’re not telling them that we set this up?” Rosaria asked. “No, but C/n is really the one to thank. Without her being as smart as she is and following directions, this wouldn’t have worked.” Collei stated. “Yeah, that’s right.” Rosaria said. They both laughed.

*A few months later Venti proposed, I said yes and we got married at the Cathedral.*

[bakerstreethound]

A Walk in the Park

Relationship: Single Father!Corinthian x reader

Warnings: brief mention of losing a child, absent parents, flirty Corinthian, pining, and sensual undertones towards the end if you squint. 

Summary: It all starts when you see a single father in the park playing with his kid. Alas, there’s more than meets the eye, for you find yourself drawn to the blonde stranger in dark shades and the child he has. What happens when his child just so happens to be the cause of a meet cute? Will something blossom? Or will you refuse the offer of his charming, albeit, handsome father? 

All writings belong to me @bakerstreethound (Do NOT claim, repost, copy or translate my works to other sites. I only publish here and on A03 under the same username)

Word Count: 1.6k+

A/N: When @novaracer and I get together, we tend to have crazy ideas this was one of the ones that came out of a brainstorm session. I have never created an OC child before, but I can’t wait for you all to meet Levi! Needless to say I dedicate this fic to them because hehe I definitely made them a sucker for some single father Corinthian. I hope you all enjoy. Graphic by @firefly-graphics. As always, comments and reblogs are most appreciated! 

You watch them from your bench in the park where you have a baguette next to you, your warm drink cold when you bring it to your lips, infatuated by the sight before you. 

The blonde stranger’s lips form into a subtle smirk while he watched the child before him tumbling through the grass, his blond curls wild are carefree, eyes a brilliant shade of blue. 

You smiled to yourself infatuated by the sight; you never were one to pay attention to children but the intelligence, the life, the joy pouring from the tiny human was enough to make you feel warm inside, a joy you thought had been long extinguished with the passing of your beloved Sam. 

You sigh, finishing off your sandwich before walking over to the trash to deposit the leftovers of your lunch, inhaling the fresh air, that is until you feel small arms wrap around your lower legs and you see him, the cute kid from before peering up at you with his beautiful baby blue eyes, blinking hopefully. 

“Hey there little fella, where’d you go?” A smooth southern accent breaks you from your thoughts and you see the tall blonde fellow in front of you, a smile forming on your face as you meet his gaze from beneath his dark sunglasses. 

“Are you looking for someone?” You ask, your heart racing and you wink down at the kid conspiratorially. He blinks up at you, giggling quietly. 

The stranger shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. “Nah, just my son. He likes to get up and play hide and seek when I turn my back you see. You haven’t happened to come across him, now?” 

The grip around your leg tightens and you fight off a smile. “Nope, don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of meeting the little fellow.” 

“You sure now? I did promise him ice cream if he didn’t get himself into trouble and all…” 

You can only imagine how wide the boy’s eyes grow at the mention of a treat and he squeals from behind you as he wiggles between the space between you and his father. 

"We can get ice cream?"

“Ahhh there you are!” 

You can’t help but smile at the exchange, the soft smile along the strangers lips widening a fraction. You can't help the warmth that spreads through you at the affection. “That did the trick, now didn’t it?” 

The man chuckles, pulling up the child in his arms, setting him promptly on his shoulders, the child squeeling happily.

“The pretty person knew where I was the whole time!” 

“Well good thing she did, cause now I’ve got you back where you belong, son,” the southern accent drawls, his sunglasses meeting your gaze once again. You wonder briefly if you overstayed your welcome. You surely don't want to intrude but something about this man and his kid well you want to know more. 

“Why don't you join us?” He inquires, inclining his head toward you. From this angle you can see his jaw catch in the light, its sharp edges cutting through the sunlight like glass. Something about this man felt otherworldly, but you can’t pinpoint why, or this draw you feel to him. 

You blink and shake your head, trying to pull yourself from your stupor.. "No please I couldn't possibly interrupt the rest of your day. I've already caused far too much trouble." 

"Nonsense, I insist."

"But-" your mind blanks. Why shouldn't you go with him? You'd only met minutes before after observing his son but for some reason you find yourself saying 'yes' and the man smiles at you. 

"Well alright then, let's go!"

You find yourself giggling, chasing around the little boy, his father smiling proudly at the two of you. Cori doesn’t want to admit it to himself either, but he’s enjoyed your company immensely and the way you took to his son was uncanny. 

“Haha! I got ya, little tyke,” you grin, the boy clinging to you profusely laughing as you tickle his sides, before he takes off running behind a tree while you follow swiftly behind. 

“Sir? I believe you forgot these?” The man at the icecream trolley rolls his eyes, huffing as he hands off the cones to Cori and he makes a mental note for his next target. What a shame to let him go to waste, he thinks. Truly a shame. “Ice cream is going to melt if you don’t get here faster!” His voice grabs his son’s attention and he smiles, making a beeline away from you over to him. 

You’re gasping for breath by the time you make it to the picnic table, and you hate to think of the state you’re in now while the man flashes a smile before his tongue swirls out to lick a stray drip of ice cream on his cone before handing one to you. “Hope you don’t mind I took the liberty of getting us all vanilla.” 

“That works fine for me,” you grin, and take a lick, the perfect balance of cold and sweetness hitting your tongue. You groan softly. This was much needed. 

“Good, right?” 

“Oh my gosh, yes.” 

“Yummy!” The kid pipes up, a messy smear of vanilla along his chin, makes you laugh as the man wipes it up. 

“Gotta be careful there, son.” 

“You and your boy are really close.” 

“Little Levi and I have had lots of adventures together in recent years. His parents aren’t quite in the picture anymore so I stand in for them now.” He shrugs and takes a bite of the ice cream and your gaze falls on Levi. Little Levi, his father’s voce was full of affection, some deeper meaning than he was letting on beyond the surface. You don’t have any right to prod further and the stranger seemed content enough to share what little he did with you. 

“He’s lucky to have you, not many children get a chance for so attentive of a guardian.” your finger brushes along the top of his hand before you can stop yourself, his gaze locking on to it, burning and searing through your skin. You swallow the lump in your throat. What are you thinking? you barely know this man, hell, he could be trying to garner your sympathy for money for all you know. 

He huffs a laugh as if he doesn’t believe the sincerity of your words. Why should you feel so empathetic towards him? You know what loss is, though you dare not think about it, the familiar pain deepening inside you, a past you thought was long forgotten. 

“Well, it looks like it’s time for us to go, Levi,” the man’s accent lays on thick this time, you swear it’s to startle you from your darkening thoughts, but your heart twinges at Levi’s boyish grin the last of his ice cream gone, dripping from his little hands as he pouts. His father smiles gently, wiping off the sticky mess with a napkin. 

“No! Wanna stay with pretty person!” Levi retorts, crossing his arms, the pout deepening. 

“We can come back tomorrow, perhaps, but you can play a little longer. We’ll be right at that bench, alright Levi?” the man smiles, pushing up the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose as he offers you his hand which you find yourself taking and sit next to him on the bench a few paces away under the welcoming shade of an old oak tree. 

The silence passes comfortably between you both while watching Levi chase around butterflies and picking up wildflowers, giggling happily, carefree joy radiating through his very being. You find yourself wishing to return to a day where you could find joy in the simplest of things, but you supposed today provided more than you found in the previous months you’ve been alone. 

He finally ends the silence. “You’ll come back tomorrow, won’t you?” He sounds so hopeful, gosh and you still can’t deny the inexplicable draw you feel to him. You want to say yes, but you knew how the ritual goes, how it only ends in pain. One question to make it or break it. You didn’t want to break again. It’s why you kept yourself alone, locked away but for a few friends and acquaintances in the world. 

“I’m not sure,” you find yourself responding. You’re surprised how sincere you sound. “Perhaps if there’s good reason to. I might have made plans.”

“Darlin’ if you had plans your phone wouldn’t be so void of calls and text messages.” 

“Well if I did, then would you still be so presumptuous?” You snip back, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. 

“Perhaps I wouldn’t but it was unfair of me to make such an assumption. Would you perhaps think about it?” His demeanor is quiet, the confidence protruding from him undeniable, but under all that, the softening of his face you can tell he means well, is sincere. You reach out between the space between you where his hand is resting on his leg and you trace the top of his hand with your index finger gently. 

“I’ll think about it, then.” You find a smile tugging on the corner of your lips. 

Without another word he brings your hand to his lips, kissing the top of it, lips soft and warm along your skin before he pulls back, smiling as he slides a card into your palm. “Well, we try to drop by once a week, Same time, day and place. You’re always welcome to join us.” He scoots closer on the bench the heat between you thickening his, lips brushing the shell of your ear, “and if you ever get bored, I’m only a call away, sweetheart.” 

“But I-” You sigh, there’s no sign of them you would’ve believed you dreamt the whole thing. You didn’t even know his name, the card in your hand was real, though, your fingers brushed along the typography, the numbers spelling out your future or perhaps your eternal doom.

******

@bakerstreethound @lilythemadqueen @frostandflamesfanfic @novaracer @starks-hero @azu21 @strangelockd @roguelov @dearly-dreaming @starstruck-loner​

[dirtyvulture]

😎 Hello lovely people !!!!!!!!!! It is opening day for baseball , so I am just hanging out with my dad (baseball is my dad’s FAVORITE sport) and we have a tradition of hotdogs all day on opening day. Plus my nephew is VERY CLOSE , my sister has experience Braxton Hicks  ( false contractions/ false labor) soooo we are VERY EXCITED!!!!!!!!! I think this is cause for some silly little thoughts for both DK and SB AUs to celebrate.

I have talked about Wolvie enjoying sports before and how some of her kids would sit with her enjoying the game . Baseball was invented ( hugely believed) sometime in the 1850s , it became popular during the war ( civil war) and became America’s pass time when the league ( National) began in 1876( there was a bunch of other leagues and one of them started in 1867) . I think Wolvie really likes Baseball and even played it a bit during the war ( remember when the civil war was happening she was dressed as a man and fighting it as a soldier, not a nurse like all the other wars ) . She has watched opening day every year and eats hotdogs all day and of course she also drinks some beer too. Kit is from America ( he was from Texas and that became a state in 1845) but he disappeared from time in 1857 so he knows nothing about his own country’s pass time , R would be RANING to take him to a baseball game opening day and getting him and R beer and hotdogs ( telling him he has to part take in HIS country’s pastime and eat the traditional food too) . R has DEFINITELY delivered babies before, all throughout time ( as a nurse and before than too) . R is unfazed by it but she STILL gets so excited to meet new life and has always loved babies and children. She doesn’t talk about it but it affects her DEEPLY if she can’t save a baby or the mom for whatever reason ( she has lived through a time when birth complications were VERY REAL and common) . She gets sad and kinda shuts down a little bit for a while.

In the SB universe , ( I was talking with a friend of mine about this. But SB and their dad , didn’t have a …….. good relationship with their father let’s say) I think that opening day and just watching a baseball game in general was one of the ….. peaceful or pleasant experiences that SB and Sarah has with their dad. They (Sarah and SB ) watched opening day with their dad every year growing up , when they were separated and then when they made amends they continued watching opening day ( eating hotdogs and drinking beer of course) . Now that Sarah is married and has her son , SB has Nat ( and Yelena and Kate of course invites themselves along) it is just one great big house full of people for opening day , eating hotdogs and drinking beer ( Sarah’s son is obliviously getting baby food and drinks) . SB and Sarah wouldn’t trade it for the whole world. When Sarah was close to having her son SB was sooo excited and when Sarah had Braxton Hicks SB was just the EDGE OF THEIR SET !!!!!!

Ps I know that talked about Kit Morris a bit here but I have been talking to my friend ALOT so I don’t know what I have talked about here and what I talked about here . This takes place when Kit and R have reunited and are just generally hanging out. My sister is due April 10 so 12 ( give or take) days until my nephew is born!!!!!!!!!! Have a lovely day everyone.

This is a little late but I hope you had an excellent baseball viewing :)

Wolvie!R is super competitive, she definitely enjoyed watching playing sports throughout her life. And god forbid she ever tried to enter a hot dog eating contest, she would absolutely SMOKE the competition. :)

I think it would be so cute for all the different couples/families to get together and celebrate. :) I hope holiday parties are just the same.

Yayyy! Your nephew is almost here. 🥰

[themonotonysyndrome]

Hey, hope your doing okay I was wondering if you could write about Celica not being able to eat during her pregnancy again? I’m sorry but I just live for worried castin being ready to kill everyone that ever told his wife to eat poison

Hello, Anon! I'm okay. Thanks for checking up on me. My writing progress has been slowed down lately. My muse... where has she gone!? 😭

Lol, but seriously, let's take a crack at this and expand more on one of Celica and Castin's most challenging trials during the pregnancy arc - her lack of tastebuds and, consequently, her appetite due to the side effects of poison withdrawal.

-

Castin says nothing. To be precise, he doesn't know what to say exactly.

His wife, his darling beloved Celica, is playing a new game he dislikes from the get-go. This causes Rhett to rear back in surprise when he admits it during their hunting trip for the King, and literally everyone in Intacia has heard of how their strongest warrior is besotted with his Imperial wife.

So what change? Castin Hammer likes - no, loves - everything about Baroness Anesidora. He loves how her golden hair shimmers with the early light of dawn as she turns around to greet him good morning. He loves the quiet hums of her voice whenever she's lost in a good book. He loves her no-nonsense tolerance for bullshit, cutting straight to the meat of the matter even in the face of hardships. He loves how pliant and soft her body is to his touches, as if she's subconsciously known that she will always be safe with him.

Right now, though? Castin Hammer dislikes - no, hates - how obtuse Celica is deliberately playing just so she could pacify him.

Enough is enough.

"Celica." Castin begins sharply, and he hates how his wife grimaces at his tone, but he has to press on. He has to make her see reason. "You can't continue drinking that... that special tea of yours after our babies are born. I didn't say anything when you insisted it was tradition, even when it slowly killed you. Guess what? It's still killing you even when you're not taking it now."

The Baroness juts her chin up in defiance. There's a small dining table worth of space between them here in their bedroom. She felt too exhausted today to leave her personal sanctuary, so it's been transformed into a makeshift office and dining hall. "I'm fine."

Enough is enough.

Castin abruptly pushes his chair backward. He swipes his untouched bowl of chicken shorba, rounds the dining table, and places it gently, as if it were a newly hatched chick, in front of Celica. "Then finish it, baby." His voice is equally soft, but there's a hint of coldness behind it. This is the most furious he has been for his wife. He knows it. Celica knows it.

Celica's lips pressed into tight, thin lines. The broth smells divine. The shredded chicken meat looks soft to chew. It's the perfect dish for a pregnant woman. She picks up the spoon and scoops the broth to her lips...

And it tasted absolutely nothing. Her stomach, growing with hunger, now cries in dissatisfaction. It hurts, and she can only imagine -

"You can't, can't you?" Castin answers for both of them. Some of his anger (never at his wife. Never anger. Only sorrow) abates. Sighing, he pulls his chair nearby to sit beside Celica instead of across to her. "You know... if I'm not 5 seconds away from tearing my hair out in a panic, this would be hilarious. I've seen you down a hill of raw, marinated crabs all on your own like a competitive eater, baby. Now though? Now you can barely finish a soup because of your missing tastebuds!"

"Tastebuds or no. I will not jeopardise the health of our babies. I'll force myself to finish this." Celica resolutely says, eyes hard. She continues eating slowly. Ignoring how distressed her husband is.

"Like how Zeke forces you to eat fuck all back then?"

"Castin, we've been over this - "

"You're right, we did. We agreed to help you look for a therapist once the children are a bit older. But we didn't talk about your poison intake. So, let's start now. Let's take that cat out of the bag."

"Castin..."

"No, no. Food and conversation. You like those, right?" Castin stonewall his wife and snatches back the bowl of food so he can feed his wife. He grins painfully wide when Celica glares at him and opens her mouth. Castin waits until the bowl is almost empty to ask, "So who do I gotta beat up for making you think that grape flavour arsenic is appropriate for kids?"

"It was Belladonna. Not arsenic." Celica sneered, and for that, she found herself a mouth stuffed with soup.

Castin rolls his eyes despite the fact that everything in him is raging on behalf of his wife. He'd learned a thing or two about playing an actor from Celica over the years. "Of course, you'd go for the fancy flowers. Also, don't get sidetracked. Who, Celica?"

"Is this an interrogation?"

"Nah. Take it as your obsessed and highly protective husband wanting to unravel everything about you."

"Really? That's your excuse?"

"What can I say, babe? You made me into a lovesick puppy that may or may not need the muzzle after this. So?"

It's Celica's turn to sigh. "My first governess - Madam Bianca - took it up with Ezekiel. It was a day after my tenth birthday, and by customs, I was only enough to practice mithridatism. The rest is history."

"What!? No, not history! Babe, that's insane! And after your birthday, too!?"

"It is what it is, Castin - urk! Will... you... stop it!?" Celica chews and swallows furiously. She bats away Castin's hand before he can shove the last bit of the food into her mouth.

"You being all nonchalant like this freaks me out, you know? Are you finally full?"

Celica immediately rubs her tummy. The pregnancy swell is starting to show. "Yes, darling. I'm genuinely satiated for now. Please, believe me."

"Awesome!" Castin stands up once more and steals a startled kiss from his wife. Mm, chicken shorba with a faint taste of cherry; more things to love about Celica. "You want some ice-cream? Cake? Ice-cream cake? Lemme get you some, actually. You just sit tight and look pretty."

"...Why are you grabbing your sword? Castin? You're just going to the kitchen!"

"You'd never know if a rebel is gonna ambush me from the bathroom, Celly! Or if a certain head butler is in the hallway. It'll be nice to have a quick chat; man-to-man. Husband to his abusive father-in-law."

"CASTIN, NO!"

[loveforpreserumsteve]

A Whole New Ballfield: "ALN" Post (Pre-Serum Omega!Steve and Alpha!Bucky Modern Domestic AU)

Nineteen:

"They look like an alien," Cori commented, looking at the 3D ultrasound picture.

"I'm definitely never having kids," Bitsy claimed, face scrunched up in displeasure at the odd photo of her unborn nephew.

"What are you talking about?" Kit asked, taking the picture from their sisters. Crossing the room to where Ollie was sitting, they held the picture up to the pregnant omega, "He looks just like his pops."

"Ha," Ollie deadpanned, snatching the picture from his younger sibling. "So funny. And just for that, you're not godparent."

"Way to go, loser," Leigh-Anne good-humoredly teased, affectionately shoving Kit.

The alpha simply rolled their eyes before wrapping Leigh-Anne into a headlock, rubbing their knuckles along her freshly shaven head. Steve simply rolled his eyes at the display. Increasingly, it was a common sight to behold.

Not even Tony was surprised by the scene as the short omega punched Rhodey's arm, whining, "I thought that I was going to be godfather."

Rubbing at his sore arm, Rhodey loudly scoffed, "What made you think that?"

"I was told that I was," Tony pointed accusingly at his pregnant childhood friend, "Directly from your husband."

"Hey," Ollie was taken aback. Denying that he did such a thing and corrected, "I said that Pepper was godmother."

"And she's my wife, so I would clearly be de facto godfather," Tony argued.

Handing the riled up omega some of Natasha's infamous Grinch mocktail, Pepper assuaged, "We just won't make them godparents to our future children."

"That's not fair," Oliver pouted, marking over his protruding bump.

"Definitely not fair," Rhodey agreed, attempting to appease his mate and his unborn son who started kicking harshly from inside his womb.

Clearly uncomfortable, Ollie huffed and pushed himself from his seat. After Rhodey helped him, Oliver turned so he could give his spouse an appreciative kiss. Then, he pivoted his current core strength and headed for the kitchen where the older adults at the baby shower were hanging out.

"Ya hangin' in there, papa?" Tibby asked, strategically playing her UNO card.

"If I could –" Oliver started, ladling some of the popular Grinch punch into a festive winter themed disposable cup "– I would remove him right here and now."

"Been there," Mandy said, playing a reverse card.

Ivy's wife, Paige, continued the saying, "Done that."

"Three times," Auggie's wife, Tula, added, rearranging her hand of cards, trying to plan her next move.

Steve assured the younger omega, "By the time he's here, you'll miss it."

"Yeah?" The pregnant man asked, taking a drink of the non-alcoholic punch.

Nostalgically, the older guests glanced at their kids. Sure, Auggie and Tula's youngest daughter, Twiggy, was only four. But Steve knew all too well how fast time really flew. After all, it had seemed like just yesterday, Oliver was sleeping on his bladder and causing him pain as he outgrew his petite womb.

Clearing the emotion from his throat, Steve nodded, "Yeah."

"Kinda makes me wish I didn't get my tubes tied," Tula half-joked before calling out, "UNO!"

"Damn it!" Tibby complained, just like every other time they played a game that she wasn't winning at.

A soft grin on his face, Oliver gazed down at his bump, admitting, "I guess it's not so bad."

Steve nodded, agreeing. As the kicking continued, Oliver stretched, shifting his weight, in hopes of getting more comfortable. Meanwhile, Steve extended his hand, but didn't dare touch the omega without permission. Son or not, Steve understood a person's boundaries. Especially from his children.

Huffing out another breath, Ollie conceded. Letting his omega father feel the baby kicking and wiggling about. Steve just couldn't believe that any of this was real. The life that he had planned for himself before he met Bucky never paid close attention to a family. He had been a lonely man who distracted himself enough to never realize just how lonely he was.

The only thing that he'd change about his life was to have it include little Roo's great grandma, Sarah, and his namesake, Aunt Flora. They deserved to be there in person. And it was the only thing that truly broke Steve's heart when he looked at his life.

Beneath his palm, Rory gave him a particularly hard kick, and Steve hoped that that was confirmation. Almost as though Rory was assuring him that Sarah and Flora were with him. Guiding him. Loving him. Making sure that he made it safely to them.

"Thanks, bub," Steve softly told him while gently caressing that spot where Roo's tiny foot remained pressed against Oliver's womb. Seeing how uncomfortable Ollie still was, Steve lifted his other hand so he could cup the younger omega's face and assured, "Just a little bit longer. It'll fly right by."

[she-karev]

The Doppelganger (Maya x Carina Funny/Sweet Imagine)

Previous Part Here

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Four of Four

Fandom: Station 19

Ship: Maya Bishop x Carina DeLuca

AN: Hey guys I hope you all are having a great Pride Month and I hope you enjoyed my story so far, comment down below and tell me what you think.

One Shot Requests: If you guys have any requests for more Maya x Carina content please share.

Summary: Maya and Carina are in bed and talk about Mia.

Words: 1005

June 6th, 2023

Maya is sitting on the floor of the living room playing with Liam. She holds up a Bluey doll and speaks in high pitched Australian voice.

“Now fly Chunky!” Liam giggles at the voice causing Maya to join in, “You’re an alright mate Liam, everybody knows it especially your mama’s.” The front door opens, and Carina enters the house in her casual clothes. She enters the living room smiling at her family who look back at her with smiles, “Hey babe how did it go? Did Mia have her baby?”

Carina kneels down on the floor and kisses Liam’s head, “She did, she and Spencer are with their new baby boy right now. Five pounds, 14 ounces and they already named him David after Spencer’s father. Their sons were debating which one is gonna teach him to play baseball when I was leaving.”

Maya chuckles and pulls Liam to her lap, “Wow three boys can you imagine?”

“Well, I can I already love our little boy so much and I am just fine with you teaching our sons how to throw a football while I make lemonade for you.” Carina smiles at the thought, “Of course I will teach them the different surgical specialties they should consider.”

Maya chuckles, “Wow you’re determined at keeping the doctor family tradition alive. Not that I wouldn’t mind, if at least one of our kids is a surgeon we’ll be set for after retirement.”

Carina chuckles, “That is very positive thinking bambina, now that we’re both home how about we get Liam ready for bed?” Maya nods and puts Liam in her arms before standing up and following Carina to the bathroom. They give Liam a very playful bath where he plays with rubber duckies while his mom’s shampoo and wash him. He gets slightly fussy when they drain the tub, but he calms down as Carina puts him in his pajamas while Maya gets his crib ready. Carina sings to him in Italian and gently rocks him, this lasts for a few minutes until Liam starts to fall asleep. Maya smiles at the sight of her pregnant wife singing to their son before she puts him inside the crib. Maya covers him with a blue blanket and kisses his cheek, Carina kisses him too and Maya turns on the nightlight that projects blue light and stars all over the room. They stand by the door and whisper good night to Liam before closing the door.

After showering and putting on their PJ’s the wives get in bed ready to fall asleep. Maya is lying in bed staring at the ceiling with Carina next to her closing her eyes. The day that they had where she saw a version of herself married to someone else and having three kids has her mind running scenarios. It’s not something she would consider doing ever but it has her innocently asking herself what if? She turns to her wife and asks her this question.

“Can I ask you something?” Carina groans lightly but opens one eye indicating yes, “Did you really not see a resemblance between me and Mia? Because I saw some, but I didn’t think we were the exact same like the others did. How did you not freak out when you met her?”

Carina grins and props one hand up on an elbow smiling down at her, “I saw a similarity, I’m not blind but I know that no matter how much you look alike there will never be another Maya Bishop in this world. The woman I love and married and have children with, she is one of a kind. She is the same tough, beautiful, determined woman who made my world turn upside down the moment I asked her if I would buy her a drink while she tells me the story of how she carried a discarded nose into an ER. There is no one who would give me that experience.”

Maya grins smugly, “Yeah I am pretty unique, aren’t I?”

“You are and that is why I didn’t see you when I was treating Mia. What she has on you is appearance and that is it.”

Maya props her hand up on an elbow, “Yeah but it makes me wonder what if? Like what if Mia decided to join the fire department here and suddenly met this gorgeous Italian woman in a bar one night? Would things be exactly the same and you two would be married and pregnant raising a baby? And what if I went to UCLA on a track scholarship instead of competing in the Olympics right after high school? Would I have met this geeky and cute physics major on the field one day and ask him for coffee? Would I be married to him and having three boys after a gorgeous OB examines me? Would things be the same as they are now if me and Mia made different decisions?”

Carina inhales and thinks for a moment, “I think life goes the way it’s meant to, and we’re meant to be led to our fate. We’re meant to live the life we’re supposed to live. And the life I have with you right now, I wouldn’t want that with anyone but you bambina.”

Maya grins at her wife, “Me too, there’s no one who would give me this family and the love I didn’t even know existed. You did that for me, and I am so thankful I wouldn’t change a single thing in my life if it meant I didn’t meet you.”

Carina smiles, “Ti amo.”

Maya squeezes her wife’s shoulder thankful she knows Italian, “I love you too, come here.” They kiss so tenderly it feels like their souls are physically touching. After they kiss Carina cuddles up against Maya who wraps her arm around Carina’s back pulling her toward her. Maya and Carina cuddle up to each other as they let the night take them in a blissful sleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

[astraves]

Sessions in Ink - Postscript

A letter came to me, by post.

I had abandoned Ouvedhe’s office when he brandished the blade at me, and made his request.

His approach and candor were uncharacteristic, and his sudden turn to show the mended hand scythe and explain the state of its make admittedly staggered me. Ten thousand some-odd years after the fact and my first reaction is anger before reason.

He’s capable of his own dirty work. That entire attempt at our discussion was... odd, like he was trying to carry on the talks until someone hounded into his ear that it was time to play his hand.

Bear in mind, our discussions were his idea. I’ve never been under the impression that he’d abandon them or fuck it up, and yet here he was, doing both.

He requested to see me in Suramar again. I told him to come to Dazar’alor instead.

Valente and I have made a vacation of it. He plays with the other children here, sits in for lessons on old legends and all the rest. I’ve had to bribe more than one instructor, but times are changing.

Suramar, Dazar’alor, the Horde... They acknowledge that he’s an elf. He acknowledges that they’re trolls. The children don’t care until we tell them to.

So I don’t tell them to. He seems to like their culture just fine, and they like him.

These people are well aware of history. They’re living embodiments of it, not unlike us, but the trade-off for shorter lifespans is the capacity to always be current. In the moment.

Zandalar’s tribe, and really the others that would have us at least, are like exercises in mindfulness.

For my part and his, we’re trying not to be the sorcerous bogeymen and godless, baby-eating night monsters their legends claim. I’ve already had a man throw bones at me and claim that I’m weaker in the day, powerless without the moon.

I explained that it’s because I’m nocturnal, and that noon is still the middle of my night in comparison.

I was offered coffee and asked, very kindly at that, not to curse him and his children, which I didn’t. So he asked if I could bless him and his instead, or curse a rival angler with my “elfin witchcraft.”

When he learned I couldn’t (or wouldn’t), I was deigned useless and left alone.

The coffee was good though.

I’m left to sit by the harbor, waiting. Nursing this brew in the sun with the golden glare of the temple behind me and the ocean breeze howling between the ziggurats.

“Volseth,” a voice called out amid the bustle of the docks. Ouvedhe’s, by any measure. 

Astraves sat on his crossed legs like a gull taking roost atop the lamp posts leading up in their procession to the higher tiers behind him.

Clutched between his hands is a clay cup, simply made without a handle and just enough of a glaze to seal the earthenware. He nursed the dark, bitter brew within and watched the tide.

“You got my letter,” he says quietly.

“Which only went to prove that you received mine,” the elder offered as he folded his hands behind his back. “We need to speak.”

Volseth took a drink of his coffee and kept to his silence.

“What was that, at our last discussion?”

“Certain entities wanted proof,” the director started. “I was hoping to make it an easier process, smoother. More readily transitioning, but...”

“They rushed your hand and told you it was now or never, right there. You couldn’t get me into position, got flustered. Threw your hand on the table and lost the game.”

“On the contrary,” Ouvedhe began, “I won. Consequently,” he added as he settled in on the wall beside Volseth, “so did you.”

“The original argument when Geillais presented her evidence was that you were either psychologically broken, beyond all repair and remediation, or that you were some kind of psychotic fiend - that you yourself would’ve easily been another one of your victims, were it not for your justifications.” “They thought you were sick,” he went on, “and that there was no cause or effect for you. That you killed animals as a boy, hurt girls in your adolescence and took your stifled frustrations and powerlessness out on society as a man. But they wanted to corner you, isolate you, and have you dead to rights before disturbing the social fabric of things.” Volseth sighed through his nostrils and took another drink. “They wanted you, the alienist, to substantiate her report.”

“Yes. And I could, in some ways. Largely, though, I could not, when it was coupled with our conversations. By your own confession, you did have a spell of powerlessness. Frustration. Your father’s death was the breaking point of that, but it was well into a century before you started taking lives for it.”

Astraves nodded and straightened his back out with a grimace.

“And as you’re quick to point out, deserving ones... The man I told you about last time, he’d been quietly arrested and resolved while you were away from the world. You wouldn’t have known, I suppose.”

“Elsewise, you... Love animals in the way that you decidedly don’t keep them, preferring to let them be in their natural element... You’ve never expressed violence toward the disenfranchised or impoverished, never... flexed your muscles as it were upon any you deign beneath you...”

Volseth raised a hand and waved it on.

Ouvedhe went quiet and cleared his throat.

“It’s as close to an exoneration as you can get for killing at least five hundred people. Documented cases, at that. You are as cleared as I can make you, Lord Astraves. I know, though. They know. Some shadow of that will always loom over you, and no small degree of threat. What’s to stop you from snapping and cleaning house again, hm?”

“The presence of air in my lungs,” he answered quietly. “Maybe if our peers and superiors can keep their fucking noses clean, they won’t have that problem.”

“Ah... That’s the Interior Ministry’s problem,” Ouvedhe mused with a grin. “Not ours.”

“It’s my problem if we falter again. We built Suramar. I’m not perfect, but I occupy the history and position that I do because I have standards, Temeril. Standards keep the towers aloft. People fed and educated. Lives and livelihoods in order.”

“As a predator, then, you’ll know that you’ll starve,” Ouvedhe remarked, “unless you’ve resolved best practice for eating elephants.”

“Protecting territory to one is another’s stewardship. Both have the same outcome. I’d like to think you want to help me see to these outcomes though. You have a stake in it as well, and we can do this legitimately.”

“Or you can take that tool you had recast and do what you need to. I’m done.”

“Truly?”

Volseth shook his head. “I can simply leave. If Suramar falls, I live somewhere else. If Azeroth falls, there are other worlds... Being married to something and unable to walk away doesn’t work so well with me, Ouvedhe. Staying for it, fighting for it... That’s just going to get me killed, and almost has in the past. I have things now that I’d rather live for.”

Temeril Ouvedhe took in the din of the shipyard as Volseth went quiet and emptied his cup with a grunt. Both men watched the seabirds, the ships trundling in and away. Crewmen barking at one another, priests blessing ships, children playing chase... “I’d say this is worth killing for,” the elder thought aloud. “So is home.”

He stood and plodded a weathered hand on Volseth’s shoulder before turning to walk away.

“One man to another, you could use an anchor. I mean it in the best possible way... You’ve got a new assignment as well, on the Isles.”

“What is it?” Volseth asked tiredly.

“Time,” Temeril said as he walked away. “Namely, its disruption... Fel won’t help you. Call your lightspark and get out there, Volseth.”

[bunnys-babies]

Them as Parents

AOT x gn!reader

warning(s): none! And there’s no mentions of child’s looks, childbearing process, etc. it’s more so focused on how they’d be as a parent themselves :) this way anyone can enjoy if that makes sense!

a/n: when I say I was jumping up & down as soon as I got this request, I LOVE imagining them as parents or any character for that matter 😩😩 ty for the request and I hope you enjoy!! ALSO tell me why bestie @plutowrites came out with some dad smau too!! they’re so cute check them out here hehehe <333

pt. 2

characters: eren, jean, connie, levi, hange, mikasa, sasha, annie, bertholdt, reiner, & zeke

Eren

You know that parent that kinda plays too hard with their kids sometimes? Yeah. Just yeah. He has chipped a tooth helping them climb a tree once, it sucked but made for a very cute picture and has served to be the sweetest little memory for your guys’ kiddo.

When they’re younger he is obsessed with playing with them in their fantasy worlds and going along with their bizarre storylines, and he will most definitely be dressing up along with them. And I’m talking going out to the grocery store with his child in their pirate costume and he’s got that tiny little fairy dress still shoved on over his shirt because this way, he can get stuff done and his baby’s having fun.

He’s just a total dork and has no shame in indulging in his child’s interests and letting loose and being goofy with his kids. Alternatively this does mean he’ll be that parent that comes with the poster boards with your child’s name in stickers and covered in glitter glue at any event your child will be at. Dirty looks from other parents when he shouts for his kid do not bother him, and neither do the glares from his poor baby. Just a happy, passionate lil dad :,)

PS - will also aggressively wrestle your children.

Jean

I love him but he’s such a worry wart no matter if it’s your first or third kid LOL. He has a simple tote bag he’s carried around with him since you two had your kid and it stays on AT ALL TIMES. It’s stocked full of things like bandaids, diapers, unscented lotion, sensory toys, little activities for them in the car, a history of their allergies and medical records, snacks, drinks, that shits gotta be so heavy I swear. And this bag doesn’t leave when your kid gets older either. The items just slowly get replaced with more age appropriate things.

If your kid gets periods, of course he’s gonna be stocked up on supplies. They like to be physically active? A sport? Skateboarding? You name it, he’s got wraps and guards and bandages for anything. He’s obsessed with being prepared. However, as worrisome as he can be your kid would never guess it. The last thing he wants to do is make your kid anxious!! He totally gives off a calm and caring vibe and it isn’t until they’re older, most likely their late teens, that you tease Jean about how worried he always is about them that they learn the truth hehe. He also totally has a picture of the family in his wallet, he’s that guy <3.

Also also, trips to grandmas are his favorite cause there is something so special about seeing his kid and his mom eat cookies together :,,((((.

Connie

Surprisingly so good at discipline. He has a knack for making everything seem fun, which helps them learn self-discipline, routines, and rules; but he’s also very good at reinforcing only appropriate behaviors and replacing “bad” ones with better options.

Bedtime? Oh, you mean dancing with daddy to the bathroom and brushing your teeth together before getting into snuggly clothes and having him tuck you in cause you’re his “little caterpillar”, right right. Clean up time? No, no, it’s actually called seeing who can put the toys away fastest and the winner gets hugs and tickles. Interestingly enough, your kid always manages to win. And as they get older, he slowly fades and fades the dependency on “fun-time” to get things done until they’re doing it themselves.

He definitely does get emotional here and there as they get older once they no longer need his help getting to bed, and it wouldn’t surprise you to walk in on him taking a little nap in their beds if they’re out late or something cause you know, he’s a big ol sap really. And when your kid finally moves out (much to his dismay, saying it’s financially better for them to just stay! They don’t have to pay a single bill, nothing!) he definitely gets a little lap dog to fill the hole. He’ll be okay though I promise <3

Levi

Literally takes everything in him not to spoil your babies I swear. He thought he’d have no problem, but then they’re looking up at him with those big sweet eyes and he just wants to make them happy cause if he was a good dad would he actually ever say no cause then they’d cry and- yeah. He’s immediately looking at you from the side and hoping and praying you’ll step in to help him say no. Once they get older though, all his resolve has washed away. It takes them promptly two “please”s before he’s sighing and bargaining with them.

Thankfully his kid knows how much of a stickler he is and is very very grateful, even gives him a big squeeze as he grumbles. Your kid also goes to him for everything. Not only is he invested in the gossip, but he’s very good at consoling them through everything.

Their first break-up destroys him though. He finds them crying in their room and just brings them a little bowl of fruit and lays with them as they cry and talk, and probably end up falling asleep. And that night, he definitely is torn up talking to you about it and is getting emotional himself because seeing his little baby be sad like that breaks his heart! And don’t get him started on their wedding day. You know the cliche stone cold dad that goes viral on whatever app cause they’re actually crying, yeah need I say more?

Hange

Don’t ask me how, but they have your guys’ kid cooking with them at the age of like three. It’s probably because they’re very good at involving them in whatever they’re doing that the kiddo is interested in, which in this case was cooking. But seriously, they have endless patience and love any opportunity to do something together rather than alone, especially if it’s you or your kid!

This definitely leads to your kid having so much random knowledge and great listening skills, while also being able to talk your ear off if you let them. However, they can get a little too invested in your child’s schoolwork.

There’s been one too many times where you’ve caught them red handed in their office around 2 in the morning, adding the “final touches” to your kids solar system diorama. This also leads to finding both of them in the garage at another ungodly hour doing who knows what when they both have work and school in the morning. Do they enable each other? Oh yes, but do they love each other? Even more <3.

Mikasa

She is so scared at first, she’s not even entirely sure what specifically is scaring her, but she knows she is. It isn’t until your kid calls her “ma” for the first time that she feels like she can do this. Something about the way they looked up at her and were all smiles and giggles and chubby cheeks told her that there was an endless love between them and they were gonna do this together.

She’s very much attached to the hip with the kiddo! Her favorite is going on walks together, all the way from when they’re in a stroller to when they’re home visiting and just wanna take a brisk walk and talk. Your guys’ kid was also obsessed with dangling from mikasa’s upper arm with their feet in the air and seeing how long they could hold on. They did this up until they were about 12 I swear, one of her biggest motivators to stay fit for real LOL.

Her lock screen also changes monthly with new pics of the three of you together or just your baby :(.

Sasha

PTA mom but like a really cute one. She just loves being involved in your kids life and what a better way to do that then be in the PTA! Always the go to chaperone for any field trip and all the kids want to be in her group cause she’s so fun. One time though on the bus ride back from a field trip some other kid managed to sit next to her and your baby was glaring the whole time, making it clear she was their mom.

Her favorite little outing to do with your kid was going to the zoo for the longest time, just to hear your baby try to say all the animal names and make the noises and get so close, too. Your baby had an obsession with the aquarium for a short while so Sasha even went the extra mile to have an aquatic themed birthday party and made little “fins” (hats) for all the kids to wear, and a starfish cake :(((. That’s one thing about Sasha as a parent, she will always go the extra mile and above and beyond to make your kid happy. Even if that means no sleep so she can prep for a 5 year olds birthday party.

And when your child finally moved out, she gave them a chest full of little memorabilia she kept for them as they grew. Along with a journal she wrote in as they grew up just talking about all the happy times she had with them and her favorite memories; there’s even a little love story about how she met you in there and her tips for your baby to find true love, too <3.

Annie

She’s definitely an extremely devoted parent. It doesn’t matter how busy she is, she will always set aside time to be with your kids. If she were ever unable to attend something with your kid, she’d definitely beat herself up over it and do any alternative she could to remind them how important they are to her, even if they aren’t personally upset about it. She’s very adamant on your child understanding their worth and that they are special as they are, and that they deserve to be loved and appreciated.

She’s definitely one of the parents who will be so so accepting of her kids s/o but will constantly be deciding to herself if they truly deserve them, they’re her baby so of course she’s protective :(. Also the type of mama to need to know everything about the friend and their house before she lets her kid go over and hang out LOL. Sometimes it’s a friend she’s met before too and she’ll be like hmm… I don’t remember but I believe you.

She’s also done a very good job at creating an “open door policy” about any topic her kid wants to talk to her about. Questions about school, sex, relationships, math, all of it.

All in all, definitely on the stricter side but loves a WHOLE lot.

Bertholdt

I don’t know a better word to describe him other than invested, like seriously. He’s invested in the process, the practice, the everything! Every one of your child’s interests he is sure to learn about so he can talk about it with them and even ask them questions! He’s so good at making them happy and excited about their own interests I swear to god. He makes sure to remember their classes and friends names, any kind of after school activity or outing on the weekends. Any show, game, etc. he is there, even if it would mean he had to tell his boss to fuck off cause he had somewhere to be. They need him to pick them up like right now? He’s speeding and on his way. He never forgets anything and it makes him a truly special parent, and it does such a good job at making them feel valued.

He also love love loves traditions. Some simple things like always eating dinner together and talking about your day if your kids home, showing him they completed their homework, taking them to school on their first day etc. But he also has some more nuanced ones that could change depending on their interests, like trying to read a book once a month and telling each other about it. Or maybe going mushroom hunting or birdwatching every other weekend, just silly stuff like that! But his favorite tradition was one your kid created, partly by accident in middle school.

It was a Friday night and your kid came home earlier than expected when they were supposed to be watching a movie with a couple of friends. Of course, he was a little curious and concerned, especially when they gave you both a look and mumbled something about how nothing happened they were just tired and went straight to their room. A few moments later they came down and asked if he wanted McDonalds, so of course he said yes and took the opportunity to take them with him in case they wanted to talk. Next thing he knows, they both have a large fry and a McFlurry and he’s getting all the gossip about how movie night was canceled because of some drama. So now, whenever your kid needs to vent or has some good ol gossip, they’ll ask if he wants some McDonald’s and they’ll take a little drive and catch up.

OKAY THAT’S ALL ABOUT BERTY I LOVE HIM <333

Reiner

Okay no, he has no will power. NONE what so ever I’m so so sorry. I hope you’re ready to remind him to say no! He tries hard so we’ll give him that, but when it comes down to it your baby can really get whatever they want out of him LOL. His pockets be hurting between his desire to spoil you and his baby, but he makes it work.

On another note, his favorite thing ever was when your kid was younger and they would absolutely sprint to see him and run and jump into his arms once they got out of school. He’d always be sure to have a little treat for them too and listen to them ramble about their day and all the fun things they learned. He’s definitely a happy listener, and sometimes he would get emotional as your kid got older when he’d think about how one day, he won’t have this to look forward to almost every day. He pushes through it though it’s okay I swear :(! He also has a necklace he has worn since the dawn of time that has their initial on it, as well as yours, and he gets a new chain periodically to make sure it never breaks.

He also LOVES cooking breakfast for you both on Sunday mornings, doesn’t matter how early or late he gets so eager to do it! He also loves bringing you both the plate in bed with a little kiss on the forehead before he makes his own plate and eats with a little smile on his face like :3 he’s a giant sweetheart truly.

You’re both his whole world and he wouldn’t know what to do without either of you. And he makes sure you both know that always <333.

Zeke

He would kill for your kid and I don’t mean that lightly LMAO. He’s the type to have to use every ounce of will power in him to not push that little ass off the swing when you’re kid asked so nicely for their turn and that little brat isn’t sharing. This also goes for parents too. If you need to talk to the principal or teacher about anything that your kid might’ve done and it involves another kid he is not opposed to bold face asking what the other kid did cause he knows damn well his baby wouldn’t act out of line for no reason. Especially when they know their dad is crazy and will come to the school guns a-blazing, they know better than to act up. And so far he hasn’t been wrong.

He also is very into anything your kid tells him and is super animated, never remembers their friends names though, that’s his classic dad toxic trait. He’ll be gasping in surprise and looking at you like it’s all crazy, and then follow it up with a, “who’s Aiden again?”

He’s very handy and has built your kid so ?? Many?? Things?? Once built them a whole themed bed frame for their 13th birthday and he’s been trying to outdo himself since. Cries at every Father’s Day card he gets and denies it literally every time. Definitely a chaotic dad and all your kids’ friends love him but are also terrified of him, they can’t explain it.

The only other goofy ass thing he does is try to catch your kids in a lie like once every year, he’ll go up and say something stupid like, I heard you leaving last night, you don’t have to lie it’s okay you can tell me. Or, your teacher called me yesterday, any idea why that would be? It never works but that just means to him they’re absolutely perfect.

A dumbass but I love him.

——————

taglist: @d1lfluvr @plutowrites @carmillous @pretty-pop-princess-hs @alonezz @venusackerman @classyunknownlover @mossygreys (if you’d like to be added jus lemme know!)

[outsideratheart]

33 “I’ll let you sit on my knee.” with vicky losada

A/N: Day fifteen of the Christmas advent calendar.

“Y/N” 

The sound of someone whispering in your ear pulls you out of your peaceful slumber but you refuse to wake up, not fully anyways. 

“I know you’re awake” it wasn’t a whisper this time.

You hestiantly open one eye. The sight that you are met with is something you will never tire off. There, still in her pjs, sits your wife and more importantly she has a coffee in her hand. Whilst the act was sweet it did come with suspisions. When you moved into your new house she told you hot drinks in bed are only for special occasions seen as though in your previous apartment you had the habit of spilling the hot liquid but you blamed the fact that you had just woken up and wasn’t responsible for your actions.

“What you do want?” you often woke up with no filter.

The look of disapproval on her face doesn't go unrecognised. You know she isn't really mad but you also know that she isn’t happy with the way you have greeted her.

“Lo siento. Good Morning mi amor” you slowly sit up placing a peck on her lips when you get to her level “Now, what do you want?”

“What makes you think I want anything” Vicky was a terrible liar on her best days never mind when she has barely been up an hour.

You look her in the eyes and raise your right eyebrow.

“Vale” she holds up her hands in defeat “I want to go see santa”

Her words almost make you choke on your drink. Vicky sends you a knowing look seen as though you’re both in bed and you almost spilt coffee on the white bed sheets.

“You’re Spanish, you don’t believe in Santa Claus” 

You were very surprised when you first went to Spain with Vicky over the Christmas holidays. Like England, you expected to see Santa Claus after Santa Claus yet there wasn’t a single jolly fella in sight. One night as you laid in bed she told that she didn’t get told the same stories as you when she was younger. Instead of Santa delivering presents it was the three wise men or Reyes Magos as she referred to them.

“But you do” Vicky teases you.

“It’s not Santa that I believe in, it’s the magic and hope that this time of year brings” You know how cheesy you must have sounded but it was true. Your parents never told you that Santa wasn’t real, you figured out that logistically it wasn't doable but the belief in what the big man stood for runs through you today just as much as it did back then.

A couple of hours later, you and Vicky are walking hand in hand through the Christmas village that is at the garden centre not too far from where you live. It was incredible and you had been coming here since you were little so it held fond memories. There are elves causing mischieve, Reindeers that you can feed and most importantly they have the the man in red.

“Would you tell our children about Santa?

The question doesn’t catch you of guard in the slighest. The topic of children has been a popular one of the past few years. You and Vicky tried to have a baby through IVF just before COVID hit but it was never succesful. Although you wouldn’t admit it you knew that Vicky took part of the blame for this and the failed attempts took a toll on her both physically and mentally.

“If we raise them in England I will but if we raise them in Spain then I think I would raise them with the beliefs that they are surrounded by” You answer nonchalantly as you wander through Santa’s workshop.

“Will you bring our children here?” Vicky asks.

“I would. This place played a huge part in my childhood at Christmas time so I would like to share it with them”

If you were looking at your wife you would have seen the look of adoration and contemplation on her face. There was a reason why she asked to you to take her here and it had nothing to do with her wanting to see Saint Nick.

“Ready to go see the big guy?” You ask as you pull her towards the grotto.

“No” she snaps “Let’s get some food first” she in suit pulls you towards the cafe.

As you sit with hot chocolate and toasties you cannot help but feel like something is wrong with Vicky or that she is hiding something. When you came back to the table you saw her reading a piece of paper but quickly put it away when she saw you coming back. You can tell she is preoccupied with something but you don’t push her, she will come to you when she is ready.

“Baby” you reach across the table for her hand “Is everything ok?” 

“Perfecto” she places a kiss on the back of your hand.

It may not have been the whole truth but you knew she was being honest with you.

As you begin your adventure around the village she stops you when you get to Santa’s grotto.

You see her pull out a piece of paper, the same white sheet that she make the extra effort to hide from you not so long ago.

“I made Santa a list. Do you think it’s too much?” she asks you before giving you the list.

“Aren’t you little old to be writing a christmas list?” you pay no attention to the sheet of paper as your focus in on your wife but more so the look of anticipation on her face.

Her eyes dart from you then to the list and back at you, letting you know that she really wants you to look at it.

You read it and you mentally pat yourself on your back as you have got her what she wants but it the last item that catches you attention. 

The bottom of the paper reads:

Become parents

If this was your list, the strikethrough would mean you have already got it but her’s could mean that she no longer wants it. To say you were confused would be an understatement.

“Vicky?” when you look up, her eyes are brimming with tears “What do this mean?”

“I’m pregnant” 

Your eyes widen at her confession. You have so many questions running through your mind.

“I started trying again whilst you were at the Euros. I didn’t want to get your hopes up if it didn’t work but I felt like I was ready”

“We’re going to have a baby” Even as you said the words out loud you still didn’t believe them.

“We are. This will be our last Christmas just the two of us” Vicky doesn’t bother wiping the tears as they fall down her cheeks.

You pull her towards the santa’s grotto again.

“C’mon I need to ask him where he gets his suit from. I need a good one for when I dress for up our little one”

Vicky swears in that moment she falls even more in love with you as you begin telling her your plans for your future Christmases. You tell her how you will dress up so that your child can sit on your knee and tell you what they want for Christmas instead of some stranger.

“Don’t worry, I’ll let you sit on my knee too but only if you’re a good girl”

[venusgroove]

jupiter in houses as songs

jupiter in 1h

4minute - hot issue

“from the head to the toe hot issue, oh!

everything i do, hot issue!”

jupiter in 2h

jay-z - the story of o.j.

“financial freedom my only hope

fuck livin' rich and dyin' broke

i bought some artwork for one million

two years later, that shit worth two million

few years later, that shit worth eight million

i can't wait to give this shit to my children”

jupiter in 3h

yuko ando - shogeki

“the guiding voice is heard from nowhere

in the wandering ocean, this is the story that you began”

jupiter in 4h

dominic fike - westcoast collective

“we used to live out west in a collective

everybody got arrested 'cause nobody wanted sleep

i used to dish out verses on purpose

and if you wanted to purchase one you weren't as good as me

i don't know if that time is comin' to an end

i hope the band gets back together when it's over”

jupiter in 5h

nicki minaj - va va voom

“just met a boy, just met a boy when

he could come inside of my play pen

'cause he look like a superstar in the makin'

so, i think that i’m going in for the takin'

hear through the grapevine that he cakin'

we could shoot a movie, he could the tapin'

boom, boom, pow, this thing be shakin'

i ain't even tryin' to find out who he datin'”

jupiter in 6h

tlc - waterfalls

“don't go chasing waterfalls

please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to

i know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all

but i think you're moving too fast”

jupiter in 7h

beyoncé - cuff it

“i feel like fallin' in love

i'm in the mood to fuck something up

i need some drink in my cup

i'm in the mood to fuck something up”

jupiter in 8h

kanye west - all of the lights

“cop lights, flash lights, spot lights

strobe lights, street lights (all of the lights, all of the lights)

fast life, drug life

thug life, rock life

every night (all of the lights)”

jupiter in 9h

the pharcyde - drop

“rock-a-bye baby

listen to your heartbeat pumping to a fine

ravine of all things, it's the vain of a shrine

all missions impossible are possible, 'cause i’m headed for a new sector 365

days from now, i’ll wipe the sweat from my eye

and each and every truth will stick or fall from the skies”

jupiter in 10h

jay-z & kanye west - no church in the wild

“human beings in a mob

what's a mob to a king?

what's a king to a god?

what's a god to a non-believer

who don't believe in anything?”

jupiter in 11h

the neighbourhood - lost in translation

“i’ve been getting lost in translation

trouble keeping up communication

we were having fun, now i can't wait to be done

it feels like I'm the only one that's sick of playing”

jupiter in 12h

21 savage - a lot

“how much money you got? (a lot)

how many problems you got? (a lot)

how many people done doubted you? (a lot)

left you out to rot? (a lot)

how many pray that you flop? (a lot)

how many lawyers you got? (a lot)

how many times you got shot? (a lot)”

[finelinevogue]

the fact that Y/N has post natal depression Is somewhat refreshing idk I just don't see it talked about much on here and if it is it's like Hella angsty and the partner doesn't understand what it is but I was wondering if u could touch on it a bit more cause it's something I'm really scared about happening to me and I just want harry to hold me and tell me it's going be okay 😚😚😚😚

P.s. if u don't wanna it's understandable

anon: can u write about harry helping y/n through her ppd maybe like the 3rd time was so bad that h decide that he won’t be having more children

so this was requested twice so i would love to be able to write this for you both, hope this is okay - mind it’s heavily angsty!;

tw: vomiting, ppd and od

oli - 4, felix - 3, belle - 12 weeks

Motherhood was really fucking hard.

The birth of your newly born daughter, Isabella, had really taken a back pedal on your mental health. You had suffered with post natal depression after the birth of your two sons, but nothing as bad as this.

It had hit you around the 7 week mark after giving birth. The pregnancy itself was okay, even though she was slightly premature, but it was after you’d taken her home that it’d all spiralled downhill. It started with complications with her breastfeeding - like she was rejecting the milk that you had produced. It hurt to see her reject you and your body, finding more comfort in drinking from a pre-made milk bottle as her dad rocked her to sleep. You recall the evening so clearly and felt like an utter failure as you watched her drink a bottle of formula for the first time.

“Ssh ssh,” Harry cooed to your 7 week old daughter as he rocked her in his arms on the rocking chair in her nursery. She was whining because she was hungry, but the problem was that she wasn’t accepting your milk. She hadn’t been accepting your milk all day and now it was becoming dangerous for you to keep on saying ‘Oh i’ll just try later.’ Harry had told you to make a formula bottle for her. “Mummy’s coming.”

As much as you didn’t want to, you were walking back to the nursery with a warm bottle in your hands. You’d tested it on your hand to make sure it wasn’t too hot and then taken a sip to taste it, out of jealousy, and you thought that it didn’t taste any different to you. Then again you’re not a 7 week old human whose only date is milk.

“Look here’s mummy with your yummy milk, okay? Look Belles!” Harry cooed at his darling angel and you only wished he wasn’t as happy for her as he was.

“Yeah.” You spoke softly, handing him the bottle and standing nearby, part of you hoping that she would reject this too and she wasn’t just rejecting you.

But no, she drank the formula like it was her last meal.

“Such a sweet girl, aren’t you?” Harry praised her, watching her in awe as she kept on drinking the formula. Watching as she was drinking to become the strong girl you knew she’d become. It just hurt that it wasn’t you that could help her become that.

You felt powerless. Worthless, even. The one thing that you had carried the weight of your breasts around to do and you couldn’t even do it. Your nipples were so sore and your breasts ached so badly and it was all for nothing. Perhaps it was punishment for being such a bad mum. Perhaps you’d never been good enough for this job and it was your bodies way of shutting you down forever. You wouldn’t need the ability to produce milk anymore, because you weren’t worth the title of becoming one again. You wanted to be happy for your little one, seeing her happy but all you felt was rejection and sadness. She didn’t think you were good enough to be her mum and that really hurt.

Along with the breastmilk problem, Belle also became very stubborn when you wanted to change her nappy. Anytime you tried to change and help her she put up a fuss, kicking her legs and sometimes she would bite or hit you away. It was just a reminder that you weren’t a good enough mum for her and that she didn’t feel safe enough around you. She didn’t find comfort in your presence and she was so fussy about what you did around her. With Harry, though, she was an angel. She loved him so much and obviously he made her feel so loved and safe - something you’d clearly never be able to give her.

There was also the chores of being a mother to your other two sons too. Oli and Felix were old enough to understand that they had a baby sister, but they weren’t old enough to understand how miserable you were. Harry wasn’t even able to figure it out yet. You tried your best to put on your bravest face, knowing that your family needed you to be strong but the truth was that you were crumbling on the inside. You were feeling less and less like yourself and you were waiting for the moment when you’d completely fall apart. Nothing felt right anymore. Everything was just numb.

“You two boys okay?”

You walked into the children’s playroom see that they were sat at the little table colouring in. Felix’s little legs dangled slightly, whereas Oli’s legs touched the floor and it made your heart swell at how big they were both getting.

“Yep!” Oli cheered, scribbling with his left hand as his tiny tongue stuck out from his lips as he concentrated - a habit passed onto him from his father.

“What are you both drawing?” You asked, coming over and kneeling on the floor beside them and having a peek at their drawings.

“We’re colouring for daddy.” Felix answered, some of the words not being pronounced properly due to his young lisp and lack of being taught how to say things correctly yet.

His words stung though. You appreciated that he was only a toddler and he meant nothing evil or malicious by it, but it hurt to think that maybe, just maybe, your sons were doing this for their dad because he did so much more for them than you did. Of course you tried to be the best mum you could, but maybe you weren’t doing enough. Maybe you weren’t meant to be a mum after all, or at least not a good one.

“O-oh,” you tried to hold back the tears in your eyes because your boys looked so proud at their artwork - and you should be too. “Tell me about them then, my loves.”

Oli went first, “So this is me and this is Oli and this is dad. It’s us playing football like we did the other day, mummy.” He pointed out to each of the figures, some looking actually quite terrifying but you’d never have the heart to tell him that. The figures were all holding hands though and it hurt to think that you weren’t a part of that.

“Oh that’s so good Ols!” you rubbed his head of hair and then turned to Felix’s, “What about you Fix?”

“I drew daddy as the best.” He pointed to a trophy that the figure - more like a stick-man-slenderman - was holding, which was decorated with the award of ‘my hero’.

“I told him to write hero, mummy.” Oli added, and you smiled at both of them.

“Well done. Good job both of you. Daddy will love these!” You only wished that they would draw something for you. You hated to think that you were being petty, but honestly you just wanted to feel loved. “Shall I go cut up some apple for a snack, hey?” You asked, trying to feel useful.

“Daddy is making us smoothies!” Felix answered and you had to stand up, up and away from their heigh, so they didn’t catch the tears in your eyes.

“Okay! Don’t forget to give him those pictures - he’ll love those.” You praised them and they both giggled to each other.

The sight of your sons laughing should’ve made you so happy, but it only reminded you that you weren’t the source of their happiness. You weren’t on their mind enough to be their inspiration for drawings. You definitely weren’t their hero. You were just a woman to them, not a mum. You wanted to be so much more but it was clear that they didn’t need you. They were loved by their dad and each other, not in need of your heart.

Eventually Belle settled down and was sleeping better through the night, leaving you and Harry to much more peaceful nights sleep. Well, just Harry.

You had found it near impossible to get to sleep now. You lay awake at night wondering when Belle would next wake up, wondering when she’d next need you. Harry was always quick out of bed though, even if he actually was sleeping, to help her ordering you to stay in bed and rest yourself. You couldn’t help feel like he was telling you to stay put because he knew you wouldn’t be able to do your job properly - and you started to believe him.

You’d found yourself getting jealous of those that could get to sleep. When you were walking down the road you’d judge a person by how much sleep they looked like they got last night. You definitely looked like you only had 2 hours - even when you’d only had 37 minutes but who’s counting? Your dark circles were heavily noticeable, but no one cared enough to ask. Even Harry stayed clear of you more and more often; spending more time with the kids than you and sleeping on his side of the bed instead of yours at nighttime.

There had been one evening where you had been so restless that Harry had gotten so frustrated and left the room, with a blanket and a pillow, and slept on the couch. You’d never felt so much like a burden than that night. Your family was rejecting you and you felt like a failure. You were a success at failing in everything. The meals you cooked went half eaten by everyone because you would’ve forgotten to add a key ingredient. The children preferred to spend more time playing with their dad because you weren’t energised enough to play the games they wanted to. Your daughter still rejected your milk. It was all too much and you just wanted one nights peace for it to change.

Last night had been that night.

Fuck these were so addicting. You were finally getting the sleep that you so badly craved, only with the help of tablets.

You wanted the sleep because that was the one place you could escape to. You needed that escape to help you get out of bed the next morning. Life was too hard for you to not dream, and without dreaming you didn’t want life.

It started off with taking one every night before bed, but then they stopped working again, so you started taking two, then three. Four was obviously where your body hit its limit.

“Mummy? Can you come tuck me in please?” Oli asked, little toy giraffe in hand and shaking you in hopes of waking you up to send him peacefully off to sleep.

You’d gone to bed a bit earlier tonight, lying saying that you were extremely exhausted. Harry said he would be able to handle things and that’s when you excitedly ran upstairs to take your pills; 4 of them. You’d made it into your bed, feeling slightly drowsy after completing your nighttime routine, but then you started to feel unwell and really ill. Before you’d passed out you’d stuck your fingers down your throat in hopes to make the feeling in your stomach disappear, but it ended up you throwing up all over the bed and pass out right there.

“Mummy! Wake up!” Oli rattled your back, but you were still unresponsive.

Oli padded out of the room and down to his sisters room where he knew his dad was. Belle was being extra fussy this evening and Harry suspected it had everything to do with you retiring early. He heard Oli come into the room just as he’d gotten Belle down.

“Y’alright buddy?” Harry whispered, tip-toeing out of Belle’s room, leaving the door open slightly, and crouched down in front of him.

“No. Mummy’s not waking up.” Oli pouted, rubbing a tired fist over his eye.

“She’s probably in dreamland, bud. She was really tired today.”

“She’s really tired all of the times.”

“I know, Ol.” Because Harry did know, but he was too much of a coward to face up to the problem. The doctors had said that post natal depression can strengthen with every birthed child, but he was too blind sighted by the fact that you’d overcome the first birthed post natal depression so quickly, and was so in love with his baby girl, that he didn’t truly see how bad things had gotten. Harry had tried giving you some space, distancing himself from you in bed and spending more time with the kids so you could relax and rest up, but nothing seemed to be working. He was surprised, actually, that you’d been having better sleep recently and so was hopeful that maybe the worst of the depression was over.

Hell, was he so wrong.

“Go to bed, bud okay? I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Wake mummy up so she can give me a kiss.”

“I’ll try little man, alright?” Harry scuffed his sons hair and then watched him walk off to his room.

Harry walked into your dark room, the air smelling slightly sour, and walked around to your side of the bed. He sat down next to you sighed heavily. He needed to speak to you, no matter how tired or angry you’d be with him. He was losing you as a wife and a mother and a soulmate and a lover. He was just losing you, just as you were losing yourself and he was doing tip-toeing around the problem any longer. He was going to try and make this better. He was going to better understand how you were feeling in order to help you.

“Baby?” He spoke softly, nudging you gently, “Baby wake up.” No response. “Y/N, my love? Wake up for me darling, need to speak with you.” Normally you would’ve stirred by now but there was still nothing. “Y/N?” Harry shook you a bit more urgently now - one that would surely wake even the deepest of sleepers. “Y/N!” He shouted, perhaps a bit too loudly for the comfort of his children.

He turned you over and that’s when he knew this was very, very, bad.

Your face was pale grey and your mouth was covered in the remains of vomit, and he suddenly understood the gross sour smell from before. Your hair was greasy and stuck all in the wet sick all over your face. Your eyes were puffy from the remains of tears. You looked dead.

“No, no, no. Y/N! No you don’t.” Harry’s eyes starting weeping and he couldn’t think straight. He checked your pulse on your wrist and timed it - it was unhealthily faint. He wouldn’t be surprised if you were in your last beats of your heart. His tears and sobs were uncontrollable, but he had to be both strong for you and his children, as well as for him. “Fuck sake pull yourself together Harry. Okay, baby hold on please. Okay? You don’t get to leave me like this, you hear me? I love you so much, baby. Fuck i’m so sorry.” He gently placed your head back down on the pillow and pulled out his phone.

999

“What’s your emergency?”

“I need a-an ambulance p-please. I-I think my wife i-is dying.”

The rest of it was a blur for Harry. Him trying to wake you up. The ambulance arriving. Oli and Felix crying when they saw you being carried away on a stretcher. Belle’s deafening screams. Harry’s heart beating for the both of you.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was the rhythmic beeping sounds that woke you up.

Your whole body felt achey and sore, your head a pounding mess. You opened your eyes slowly, adjusting them to the light of the room. You expected to see the family photo on the wall opposite you and the white of your curtains, but you were met with a heart-monitor machine and a hospital bed instead. You looked down at your body and noticed a cannula in your arm, making you squirm because you hated stuff like that so much. Your nose had a tube running inside it too, feeding you the oxygen your lungs weren’t receiving properly.

It then dawned on you how you weren’t in the room alone. You saw a sleeping Anne and Gemma on the chairs in the far corner, with Felix and Oli tucked against their sides - Anne with Oli and Felix with Gemma. It was so cute to see them so cuddled up close. They looked peaceful. You took note of the baby pram that was at the end of your bed, most likely playing bed to your beautiful daughter. Your mind felt lost. You can’t really remember what had happened, apart from taking four of those sleeping pills. You fully remember the weight of feeling worthless and useless as both a mum and a wife, though, and that feeling was still very prominent.

Your eyes lastly landed to the side of you, where Harry was sat but also laid on your bed. The top of half of his body laid upon the bed, his head buried onto this arm deep within the bed, whilst his bottom stayed rooted to the chair. His hand was holding yours tightly, which was a sign that he wasn’t asleep. You were so scared to face him though. You had failed him, again and again and you weren’t sure whether you could be enough for him anymore. Enough for your family anymore.

You squeezed his hand three times saying ‘I love you.’

“Y/N,” He whispered so hoarsely, but you were so focused on him to even catch it. He looked ruined, and you’d done that to him. His eyes were dark and tired, but also red and puffy from where he’d been crying. His hair was a mess and you could tell it hadn’t been washed in a while. How long had you been out for? You felt rested in your sleep, but not in your mind or your heart.

“I—” Your breathe got caught in your throat, but you persevered to finish your words. He deserved to here them. “I’m sorry.” You were whispering so you didn’t disturb anyone else in the room.

“No, stop it. I’m sorry baby.”

“Harry don’t, you don’t have anyt—”

“Stop yes I do I—”

“Harry please you don’t owe—”

“Y/N listen!” He cut the little volley-conversation and ordered you to just stop. You started crying when you saw that he was too. “Whatever you’re going to say, don’t. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it right now. Because I love you. Fuck, I do. I love you so much that when I found you unconscious in a pile of your own sick thinking you were dead, my only thought was that I wished it were me instead”.

“Harry, you don’t mean—”

“My god Y/N! You don’t get it, do you? I would do anything to switch places with you right now. I would suffer a thousand times over if it meant you were okay. I’d suffer in hell for you. Nobody else but you has ever made me feel like this. I married you because I love you and I want to wake up next to you every day of my beating hearts life. I chose to have children with you, because I knew how great of a mum you’d be and what beautiful people you’d help bring up into the world—”

“But i’m not.” You cut Harry short, trying to pull your hand away from him but he didn’t let you - only tightening his grip and pulling himself closer towards you. He was so close you could kiss him.

“Not what?” He asked, although he already knew the answer. You’d both had this conversation before, but you were both tired of it and were ready for it to be your last now.

“A good mum. I’m- i’m not a good mum or wife, Harry and i’m sorry.”

“I told you not say it and stop thinking it, because you’re completely wrong Y/N. You’re a good mother and a good wife, because you are a good person.”

“But i’m not great.” You whimpered, thinking back to the drawings your Oli and Felix had done. “I’m not the best.”

“But you don’t have to be, baby. You see our beautiful, healthy, happy and safe babies over there?” Harry turned to look at them, love in his eyes as in yours. “They wouldn’t be all those things, no matter how you feel about yourself, without you. I could never have brought them up to be half the people they are without you by my side, the way you make me a better person. You claim you don’t got this, but baby you’re already doing it and have been doing it for 5 years with our children and so much longer with me.”

“I’m just so fucked up Harry.” Your head tilted back on the pillow as you got heavily emotional over the situation.

Harry shook his head and moved his hand to cup the back of your neck, moving your head forwards until it met his. The touch of his skin against yours, no matter where and how small, made you feel alive and you’d missed him and that feeling so much. You missed loving him so much.

“Listen to me.” He ordered, keeping you still. “You are strong and you are brave Y/N Styles. No matter what you tell yourself I will be here every goddamn day of my life, if I have to, to remind you that you are worth more than your fucking weight in gold. You are my heart. You are my soul and the mother to my greatest achievements. I know they are yours too, just as I know I am your heart.

“You are.” You whispered so quietly under your breathe, but Harrys heart warmed when he caught you saying it. He knew though.

“Just let me love you. Let me be there for you. If you want medication then let’s do it, and i’ll be there for every step of the way. If you want to go to a rehabilitation centre for a bit, that’s okay we can—”

You shook your head and licked the tears away from your face. You were both such tearful messes, but the love between you was undeniable. “No, no please, no.”

“Okay, okay, love. We won’t. See, you’re okay. I promise, you’re okay. Stay with me, yeah? I’ll love you and keep you safe, just as you will me.”

“Promise.” You told him sincerely. He brought his lips to yours with that single word. He was so proud of your for being so brave and strong. He wishes he was half the person you were. His lips conveyed those thoughts of his and you could taste the love and passion burning through his heart and out on to his lips. He tasted like home. z he was home. Your lips smacked together messily, but you didn’t care because you loved each other too much and had kissed each other even more. Once you pulled back he stayed close to you, smiling at you with such awe. “I think.. I think I want to try medication please.”

Harry didn’t say ‘okay’ or ‘sure thing’, no. He said four words that meant more to you in that moment that any others in the universe. More than saying ‘I love you.’ Words that reminded you that not everything is okay and that sucks really bad, but you’re doing your best to get through it. It was a reminder that you had so many people who loved you and cared for you. It was a gun at the starting line symbolising that the journey ahead wasn’t going to be easy, but worth it.

“I’m proud of you.”